Letting go.

It’s kinda hard to let go of a person, especially when he becomes the most important one in your life, the whole world, and nobody ever can replace him.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this story, maybe I hope that it would work on me like a psychological session and help me to put everything together. It’s especially helpful to understand that no one I know is registered here, and I seem to be releasing all this pain far away and irrevocably.

L-O-V-E. For a long time, It seemed to be an unattainable feeling. I have quite high standards, it’s very difficult for me to open up to people, and I don’t want to do it. Or didn’t?

I just graduated from high school, got my coveted red certificate with honors, entered the university, and decided to spend a useful vacation, getting my first job in my life. For a long time in my life, there were quite ordinary people, not at all catchy and simple. But in the first second, when I went into the office, my eyes just froze on one person, which made a great impression on me. I immediately realized that this is quite an interesting person and after a couple of minutes I was announced that we would work together. So this story, full of emotions, passion, and first love, began.

It is not necessary to go into the details of this love. One thing I know for sure: she was the most sincere, the very first, the strongest, and the biggest I’ve ever had. It was the strongest feeling I had ever felt for a human being, but what was even more pleasant, I knew and was sure of the reciprocity of my feelings.

We had a lot of wonderful and wonderful moments, a lot of sincere feelings, a lot of “for the first time”. It was beautiful, without exaggeration. But everything comes to an end, and probably this is normal. I went to this thought for quite a long time and realized that we probably were not destined to be together, for very long time I rejected these thoughts, did not believe, but eventually, I came. I was afraid to hurt him, I was afraid to embarrass him, I tried to somehow protect him from all the negative things. I don’t know if I did it or not, but I tried.

I hope I succeeded.

It’s hard to forget everything, to let go and accept this situation. It’s hard to look at other people and compare them to him, every hair, every smile. It’s hard to walk through alleys and streets where you once walked. We walked full of smiles, happiness, and love. It is sad to realize that even such strong feelings can not always be carried through the rest of your life and, you can only be content with memories, carefully storing them in your heart

I don’t want to betray these fabulous moments so much, and I’m not ready to forget them. Sometimes and always it is so important to feel every moment, every breath, every smile, and touch, it is very important to remember this.

I hope that I will learn to bear the burden of the deceased love and its happy memories, learn to remember beautifully and sensually, just like our story.